Taming the Tongue
Gettysburg Presbyterian Church
May 22, 2011

         When our kids were 12 and 15, we bought an old Winnebago, loaded it up and headed west on a four-week trip to Alaska!  Knowing that our kids were in the habit of constantly insulting, criticizing, and calling each other names, we dreaded life in the close quarters of our small RV. But then my mother gave us the best gift she could have possibly given us.  She offered our kids $75.00 if they did not fight with each other for the whole trip!  No insults or angry words were permitted.  (Not to mention outright fist fights!)  She figured they wouldn’t last for 30 minutes, much less 30 days so her money would be safe, but she thought that she still might buy us a few hours of peace.
          Well, the kids made it through the first hour without quarreling.  We were surprised.  Then they made it through the whole first day.  We were shocked.  And then the second. And the third.  The entire emotional climate of our family changed (although they did still fight with us!).  A week went by.  Two weeks.  Three.  Four.  We couldn’t believe it!  They didn’t fight once in the whole four weeks of being crammed together day and night in that vehicle!  And we had a very good trip!  I’ve got a framed picture from it sitting in my office!  And, yes, they got their money!
          Someone once said that the tongue must be the heaviest of all our body parts, because so few of us can hold it!  In chapter 3 of the book of James, he talks about the importance of the words we say to one another.  I think he is right on target.  The words we say have a tremendous impact on the quality of our lives together.
          Listen to what James says about the impact of our words in James 3:2-5.
          2  For all of us make many mistakes. Anyone who makes no mistakes in speaking is perfect, able to keep the whole body in check with a bridle.
          3  If we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we guide their whole bodies.
          4  Or look at ships: though they are so large that it takes strong winds to drive them, yet they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs.
          5  So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great exploits.
          Here James makes the point that small things, like the tongue, can exert a great influence.  He uses the example of the horse controlled by its bit, and the ship controlled by its rudder.
          Let’s think first about the powerful, positive influence that the tongue can exert.  For example, words of affirmation can help someone see a gift or character trait in themselves that they haven’t seen before.  I’m in ordained ministry today because someone spoke words to me affirming that I had gifts for this kind of ministry.  Words of affirmation can have a considerable effect.
          Also, words of encouragement or comfort can make a significant difference in someone’s ability to handle pain or stress. A number of years ago my brother Daryl was running in the Marine Corps Marathon in Washington, D.C.  Several us decided to come along to encourage him.  We were stationed at several points along the way and then we jumped in to run with him for that last uphill mile.  He looked awful, and I was worried that he might just collapse on the way to the Iwo Jima Memorial!  So I set aside my normal brotherly, abusive remarks and I encouraged him for that last mile.  He finished the race (all 26 miles, 385 yards of it) and later commented on how important those words of encouragement were in helping him to get past the pain and finish.  Words of encouragement and comfort can have a real effect on those who are experiencing sickness, loss, failure, or discouragement.
          Our positive words can also help to motivate others.  On our Mission trips, like the South Carolina trip we heard about earlier this morning, there are times when it is hard for the participants to keep going with the work.  I remember one trip where people were tired because they weren’t getting enough sleep.  They struggled with the heat of the day.  Muscles ached.  Some folks got bored.  People became irritated at other members of their work team.  That’s when someone stepped forward and spoke words of encouragement and motivated them to keep going with the work in spite of the hardships.  And those words of motivation helped them to continue the work they were called to do that week.
          Our words can also point out unfairness or injustice so that right can prevail.  Think of our prophets- ancient biblical ones like Jeremiah and Amos, colonial ones like Patrick Henry, and modern ones like Ghandi and Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.  They all spoke out against injustices and had a tremendous influence on changing those injustices.
          And our words can also help us draw close to others.  By sharing our inner thoughts and feelings with one another, emotional intimacy develops between two people, or between a group of people.  Our words help us get closer to one another.
          Finally, we use our tongues to praise God.  To thank him for being the God he is and for all the things he has done for us.
          Tongue can have a great positive influence wherever positive words are spoken. Unfortunately, words do not always have such a uplifting impact.  They can also be tremendously destructive.  We continue in verse 5, where James says,
          “How great a forest is set ablaze by a small fire!
          6  And the tongue is a fire. The tongue is placed among our members as a world of iniquity; it stains the whole body, sets on fire the cycle of nature, and is itself set on fire by hell.
          7  For every species of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by the human species,
          8  but no one can tame the tongue—a restless evil, full of deadly poison.”
          (James 3:5b-8)  Not too subtle, is it?  James, how do you really feel about the tongue?
          Think with me about some of the destructive uses of the tongue.  How about hurtful, critical remarks?  In the award-winning book and film, “The Joy Luck Club,” a little girl has the capacity to “see the secrets of a chessboard.”  She becomes a national champion at the age of eight.  Unfortunately, her mother is jealous and envious of her daughter’s gift and one day in an angry outburst, hisses at her, “You are nothing.  You are nothing at all.”  The little girl describes what happened after these critical remarks were made.
          “What she said to me was like a curse.  This power I had, this belief in what I’d been given, I could actually feel it draining away.  I could feel myself becoming so ordinary. And all the secrets that I once saw (on the chessboard) I couldn’t see any more.  All I could see were my mistakes and my weaknesses, and the best part of me disappeared.”
          The power of critical words, especially on our children, can be devastating.  They can also be devastating on employees, neighbors, classmates, and fellow church members.  My wife and I have been attending the “10 Great Dates” program.  The authors of the book we’re using commented that criticism is so powerful that, even when it is delivered gently, that you need about five affirming remarks to offset each critical comment you make.
          But criticism is not the only kind of destructive speech, is it?  How about gossip?  Gossip is any negative speech about someone else which is not necessary.  It might even be true!  But it is always hurtful and unnecessary.  It’s like a poison, in James’ words.  It can assassinate someone’s character.  It can take a small problem between two people and expand it into a fight between whole groups of people- in a church or a Scout troop or a club or an office. 
          Is gossip a problem here at GPC?  You bet it is.  Fortunately, it’s not a widespread problem, but it is a problem.  And it has caused unnecessary pain and division here.  A good test- when you are thinking of saying something about someone else- ask yourself, “Would I want that other person to know what I am about to say?”  If you wouldn’t, don’t say it.  If you’ve got a problem with someone, go directly to them.  To do otherwise is cowardly, and it is sin.  Gossip is another destructive poison of the tongue.           Unfortunately, the tongue’s destructive powers do not end with criticism and gossip.  How about lying?  We lie to misrepresent our accomplishments- we’ve all heard of prominent people forced to resign over falsified resumes.  We lie to avoid the consequences of what we’ve done.  We lie to improve our chances of getting what we want.  We lie to customers to make the sale or to make more money off of services rendered.  Recent studies have found that witnesses in our courts frequently lie under oath!  And when we include so-called “white lies,” deception, and misleading statements, I think almost all of us find our tongues involved in this kind of sin.  The cost of lying to our society and to our personal relationships is tremendous.  It results in widespread mistrust.
          James’ insight is right on the money, when he talks about the destructive capacity of the human tongue.  We’ve talked about three examples- criticism, gossip, and lying, but there are many more- abusive attacks and cursing, to name two
          James goes on to say that this is a scandal for Christians.
          9  With it (the tongue) we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse those who are made in the likeness of God.
          10  From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this ought not to be so.
          11  Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and brackish water?
          12  Can a fig tree, my brothers and sisters, yield olives, or a grapevine figs? No more can salt water yield fresh. (James 3:9-12)
          How, James asks, can the same tongue produce such positive results (blessing God) and such negative ones (cursing people made in God’s own image)?  He says that it just shouldn’t be that way.
          In this chapter, James holds a mirror up in front of our faces.  He says to us, “You think you have real faith in Jesus Christ?  Take a look at the way you speak!”
          How do you do on the speech test?  Do your words reflect your commitment to Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior?  Are you using your speech to affirm and encourage others whenever you can?  Are you winning the battle against critical speech, gossip, and lying?  If not, take heart.  James acknowledges that controlling our speech is perhaps the most difficult part of our whole lives to control.  He says it is like taming a wild animal.  And that anyone who makes no mistakes in their speaking is perfect.
          But James won’t leave us stuck there, will he?  He says that those who call themselves Christians need consistency between their profession of faith and their ordinary, everyday words.  How can you make your speech more consistent with your faith?

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