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Forgive? But They Don't Deserve It!
Gettysburg Presbyterian Church
David C. Wright
Matt. 18:21 - 35
October 11, 2009
This morning
we continue our series on the parables of Jesus, most of which
talk about the Kingdom of God. We’ve learned that God’s
kingdom grows, has influence, and is of supreme value. It
is characterized by grace, seeks outsiders, but is a mixed bag,
containing both good and evil. This morning’s parable
reminds us that forgiveness is a prized value in the Kingdom of
God.
Everyone knows that Christians are supposed to forgive. But is forgiveness
realistic in a world such as ours? How about in Rwanda, where 15 years
ago formerly oppressed Hutu tribes people went on a 100-day rampage against their
fellow Tutsi neighbors, killing 800,000 of them. Should we really expect
Tutsi survivors to just forgive the 100,000 Hutus accused of participating in
the massacre of their loved ones? Wouldn’t that just subtly condone
the horror that has been done? And certainly it would seem reckless to
ever trust such people again.
Or, how about the case
of Gordon Wilson? In 1987 an IRA bomb went off in a small town west of
Belfast, Ireland. Eleven people died and sixty-three others were wounded. Wilson
and his 20 year-old daughter, Marie, were buried under five feet of concrete
and brick. He survived, hearing her last words, “Daddy, I love you
very much.” Should we expect Gordon Wilson to forgive Irish Republican
Army members who carefully planned to murder innocent civilians like his daughter
just to make a political statement?
Elie Wiesel, the Nobel
Laureate Holocaust survivor, offered this prayer at Auschwitz: “God
of forgiveness, do not forgive those murderers of Jewish children here.” Deep
down, I think many of us agree with Wiesel. We doubt that forgiveness
is realistic in real world situations.
So, if we’re going
to talk about forgiveness, we’ve got some hard questions to answer. What
exactly is forgiveness and why should we do it? Doesn’t easy forgiveness
just encourage more wrong-doing against us and others? Isn’t it just
foolish to forgive someone when we know they’re probably going to hurt
us again?
With these questions in
mind, let’s read what Jesus has to say on the subject as found in Matthew
18.
21 Then Peter came
and said to him, "Lord,
if another member of the church sins against
me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?"
22 Jesus said
to him, "Not seven times,
but, I tell you, seventy-seven times.
23 "For this reason the kingdom of heaven may
be compared to a king who
wished to settle accounts with his slaves.
24 When he began the reckoning, one who owed him ten thousand talents was
brought to him;
25 and, as he
could not pay, his lord ordered
him to be sold, together with his wife and
children and all his possessions, and payment to be made.
26 So the slave fell
on his knees before him, saying, "Have patience with me, and I will pay
you everything.'
27 And out of pity for him, the lord of
that slave released
him and forgave him the debt.
A near-Eastern king
is settling accounts, probably with those who served under him as official tax
collectors on his behalf. One of these folks owed him ten thousand talents,
most likely as a result of embezzlement. This is an absolutely outrageous
sum of money! It took fifteen years of common labor for a person to earn
just one talent! The entire income for the government of Galilee and Perea
only totaled 200 talents per year. This guy owes ten thousand talents! It’s
like a gazillion dollars! It is an impossibly large amount that could never
be repaid.
The king decided to sell
the man and his wife and children as slaves to recoup some of his loss. In
reality, their sale would bring less than 1/1000 of the debt! It might
satisfy the anger of the king a little, but it would do nothing to recover the
enormity of his loss. But the servant falls on his knees and begs, promising
to repay every penny if the king will just have patience. Now this is clearly
a false promise. He will never be able to repay this debt. No one
could! But the king has pity, releases him, and flat out forgives the debt. The
servant doesn’t even have to try and pay any of it back!
The actions of the king
are clearly designed to parallel God’s actions on our behalf. We
owe a debt to God that we cannot possibly pay- the debt of our sin. We
have failed to be the people God created us to be. We have caused untold
pain to others. We have wasted time and money entrusted to us by God. We
have deliberately disobeyed our Creator. There is no way we could ever
repay that debt, or undo the damage we have caused. And yet, our King has
decided to release us from our debt. To forgive us. To let us go
in freedom. This is an act of sheer grace and we are all the beneficiaries
of it! This part of the story celebrates the outrageous love and grace
of God!
If you are having trouble
forgiving someone, here is the place to start. Come to God, conceding
your utter inability to repay the debt you owe, and accept his mercy. Because
of human pride, we need to return to God with contrite hearts many times, so
that we will always be clear about our situation. We are sinners in desperate
need of grace. This is where we begin to learn how to forgive others,
when we admit our own need and humbly receive God’s grace.
But there is more to Jesus’ story.
28 But
that same slave, as he
went out, came upon one of his fellow slaves who
owed him a hundred denarii; and seizing him by the throat, he said, "Pay
what you owe.'
29 Then his fellow slave fell
down and pleaded with him, "Have patience with me, and I will pay you.'
30 But he refused; then he went and threw him into prison until
he would pay the debt.
The servant has no sooner left the presence of the king when he encounters a
fellow servant who owes him one hundred denarii, a pittance of a sum compared
with the first servant’s extraordinary debt. He grabs that servant
by the throat and demands to be repaid every cent. The fellow servant pleads
for patience and mercy so he can repay the money, which was a realistic promise. But
the first servant refuses, and has him thrown into debtor’s prison. Perhaps
his family and friends will ante up what he owes so he can be released.
What can we say about
the first servant? His refusal to forgive his fellow servant demonstrates
that he failed to comprehend and appreciate the grace offered to him. He
just didn’t get it!
Here Jesus puts human
forgiveness in an altogether different light, helping us see it from God’s
perspective. The Basis for Our Forgiveness of Others) Jesus understands
that human forgiveness flows out of God’s forgiveness of us- that the two
are linked. That’s why he says in the Lord’s prayer, “Forgive
us our debts as we forgive our debtors.” Jesus knows that
a heart which is truly open to the grace of God will also be open to others when
they fail, for that’s what an open heart does. We cannot open our
hands to receive God’s grace when those same hands are clenched around
the grudges we hold against others.
This is made plain in
the final scene of the parable.
31 When his fellow slaves saw
what had happened, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to
their lord all
that had taken place.
32 Then his lord summoned
him and said to him, "You wicked slave!
I forgave you all that debt because
you pleaded with me.
33 Should you not have had mercy on
your fellow slave, as I
had mercy on
you?'
34 And in anger his lord handed
him over to be tortured until he would pay his entire debt.
35 So my heavenly Father will
also do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother or
sister from your heart."
Well, the fellow servants are appalled at what has happened, so they inform
the king. He is equally appalled, summons the first servant and confronts
him with his lack of mercy toward his fellow servant. The king is angry
and hands him over to be tortured. Here we have here the consequences of
unforgiveness. The mercy shown previously to the servant is now placed
in jeopardy.
God forgives each one of us a debt we could never repay. And he demands
that we do the same for one another. A refusal to do so indicates that
we have never really understood and appreciated and received his grace ourselves. Our
refusal to forgive is an indication of a heart that is not right with God.
Now let’s be clear
about what forgiveness is and isn’t. It is not about minimizing the
awful thing that has been done to us, pretending that it wasn’t really
so bad. That’s not forgiveness; that’s being a muddle-headed
Pollyanna! Forgiveness acknowledges freely and completely how awful the
thing done to us is, and yet chooses to let it go anyway. Forgiveness is
an act of faith. It realizes that only God has the right to judge and punish. It
trusts that ultimately God will do what is right with what has been done to us.
In a “Pearls Before
Swine” comic strip, Rat says to Pig, “I’ve decided to find
all my enemies and tell them I forgive them.” Pig appears delighted
by this. “Good for you, Rat,” he says. “Why’d
you decide to do that?” Rat replies, “To give my vengeance
the element of surprise!” Forgiveness is hard because it lets go
of the possibility of revenge, of making the other person hurt for the hurt they
have caused us. That is what most of us secretly hope and long for! Revenge! Forgiveness
says “no” to that possibility. It’s also a choice to
let go of the anger we feel, which may give us an inner sense of power and moral
superiority. Forgiveness is a choice to let go of revenge and anger, trusting
God to do what is right. It’s a deep act of faith.
And forgiveness does not
necessarily mean that we will be reconciled to the person who caused us the harm. That
may or may not happen. The other person may not want reconciliation. Or
it may be dangerous and foolish for us to become close to that person again-
in the case, for example, of a wife who is abused by her husband. Unless
that husband desires to change and to get help with his abusive behavior, attempting
to be in relationship with him would be unwise. She can still
forgive what he has done- let it go. And move on with her life. But
forgiveness does not require us to trust an untrustworthy person.
But forgiveness does enables
us to move on. Comedian Buddy Hackett once said, “...I never carry
a grudge. You know why? While you’re carrying a grudge, they’re
out dancing.” Carrying a grudge, refusing to forgive is ultimately
destructive not to the offender, but to us! Dr. Everett Worthington, a
professor of psychology at Virginia Commonwealth University, has found that people
who do not forgive are more prone to stress-related disorders, lower immune-system
function, and higher rates of cardio-vascular disease. A University of
Michigan psychologist found that the ability to forgive is the trait most strongly
linked to personal happiness. These are significant payoffs that forgiveness
brings us right now.
So how do you begin? Remember,
forgiveness is primarily an act of the will, a decision to let something go. It
is an act of faith, so begin by praying that God will help you to forgive. You
may find it helpful to talk with a Christian counselor or friend if you’re
stuck. Then determine with God’s help, to let it go. You will
probably have to decide to let it go many times, as it comes up in your mind
again and again. But just do it.
At the beginning of this
message I mentioned a couple of hard cases- the genocide in Rwanda and the story
of the Irishman, Gordon Wilson. You might be interested to know that the
government of Rwanda is experimenting with a different kind of justice which
is designed to restore relationships in that country by insisting that the perpetrators
admit their guilt and ask forgiveness directly from the families of those they
killed. The premise is that forgiveness is necessary in order for relationships
to be healed. A similar plan worked fairly well in South Africa after
apartheid ended there. It seems to be working in Rwanda.
Gordon Wilson, whose daughter
was killed by the IRA bomb, became famous in Ireland when he said from his hospital
bed as he recovered from the bomb blast, “I have lost my daughter, but
I bear no grudge. Bitter talk is not going to bring Marie Wilson back to
life. I shall pray, tonight and every night, that God will forgive them.” After
his release from the hospital, Wilson led a crusade for Protestant-Catholic reconciliation. He
personally forgave those who organized the bombing. Protestant extremists
called off a planned retaliatory strike following the bombing. Wilson became
a member of the Irish Senate, and all the parties of conflicted Ireland honored
him upon his death in 1995.
Forgiveness is extremely
hard work for us, but it works. It demonstrates the condition of our hearts. It
can lead to reconciliation and healing. It often leads to a renewed sense
of joy in our own lives. Everyone knows that Christians are supposed to
forgive. Will you trust God enough to do it?
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